Wedding planning is stressful, and your friends are there to help.
Advice from Ellie at The Wedding Enthusiast
We say this as a friendly face: you can’t do everything on your wedding day, and nor should you have to. It’s the sign of your lovely disposition and kind heart that you don’t want anyone else to do anything on the day either and you want them to just relax, but you’re only shooting yourself in your beautiful glittery-heeled foot. Chances are, they probably actually want to help too!
If you’re still feeling a bit guilty about asking your bridal party to do some ‘work’ (and I say that as a loose term) on your wedding day, there’s a few ways you can minimise it in the run-up:
Firstly, make sure you play to people’s strengths. A job you may think is a rubbish task may set someone’s heart alight – I, for example, love the post office and wish I worked in one in a different life. That means I’d love packing envelopes, which is something that would make other people want to gouge their eyes out. (Not that I’m inviting myself to be part of your bridal party but hey, if you’ve got an opening – I make great cups of tea on the morning and will lead a dancefloor for the nighttime). Point being, some people may see that as a monotonous mind-numbing task, but would love something I’d rather not do – it’s all about using people to their strengths. If you give them a job they’d be good at and would enjoy doing, it won’t feel like a ‘job’ at all. Everyone likes to excel at things, and they like it doubly when it’s of so much importance.
Second up, remember that that is why you asked people to be part of your party. Bridesmen, maids of honour, ushers, and best women are generally all prepared for a certain level of involvement from when they get the honourable question: it’s what they’re signing themselves up for. Again, there’s an upper limit to this – they’re not your wedding planner and shouldn’t be treated as such – but the fact you’re even worried about giving them a task is probably a good sign that your task won’t be unreasonable.
Thirdly, chat it through with them beforehand to make sure they’re comfortable with what’s going on. If you want things done a certain and meticulous way, that’s fine – but give them the benefit of actually knowing what way that is with good time, and not on the day when you may be slightly stressed.
Hopefully we’ve made you feel a bit better about asking them – but what kind of duties can you expect them to take on? Here’s a checklist of things you may want to think of passing on:
– Collecting stuff on the day. If there’s bits that need to be couriered – like buttonholes and bouquets and, you know, suits – ask a pal to ferry them over for you. They’ll feel super important and it’ll be one less stress when they’re in hand (and even less stress when they’re literally in hands.)
– Organising breakfast. I cannot stress this enough: EAT ON YOUR WEDDING MORNING. Put someone in charge of eating to make sure you don’t forget in all the excitement.
– Making sure your bag has everything you need in it. Wedding planners and photographers always recommend you have a small handbag full of essentials for if you need them on the day – lipstick, phone charger, hair bobbles/pins if you want to throw it up later on, the like. Nominate a guest to make sure it has everything you’ll need, and that it gets to where you’re going.
– On-the-day payments. If some of your suppliers require payment on the day, you don’t want to be the one in charge – ask a trusted party member – preferably with a bag bigger than their back pocket – to keep the cash in envelopes and hand it over at the given time. (The most preferable situation here is to pay everything beforehand, mind).
– Assist the photographer in gathering people up. Nominate someone to help the photographer round up the people you need for your group shots. This is as important if you’re having loads of group shots as if you’re only having a couple – either way, you want to get them over with as quickly as possible, and having everyone in the place they need to be at the right time helps this tenfold. It’s best to ask someone who’s been a big part of your life for a fairly long time, or better yet, knows both sides of the party really well – as they’ll know who the people on your list are, rather than having to sneakily ask everyone who your Auntie Susan is.
– Help guests with limited mobility. If anyone on your guest list has accessibility problems, ask one of your party to keep an eye out for them during the day, making sure they’ve always got an arm to hold if they have a stick, someone to push if they’re in chair, or clear access to ramps if they’re on a scooter.
– Guiding people to the gifts table and the guestbook. We’ve all seen it – wide-eyed keen bean family members arriving with a wrapped gift in tow and no idea where to put it. Have someone there to let them know where you’re keeping all the gifts you’re so grateful to receive, and get them to gently remind people to put an entry in the guestbook too over the course of the night.
See, not so scary in the end, right? If you’ve got any ideas of what you’re asking people to do to help on the day, let us know!